just because

It is a Friday night. Yesterday I was able to hear Diana Butler Bass speak at Andover Newton Theological School. She was great to listen to. And, of course, she is an amazing writer. Not even sure how many books she has written in the last ten years...6,7? A lot. An awful lot. I need/want to be a better writer. It is a love/hate relationship. The problem I know is that in order to really be a good writer one has to have discipline...one must sit down and write everyday. It's just like anything else, it requires practice. It's not that I'm a bad writer when it comes down to it, I've always been able to do well in school and write a sermon or article when I needed/wanted to...although the first years of my preaching career were pretty traumatic. Lots of late night panic attacks. Part of the problem I think is that I get too invested in what others will think of the writing or how they will respond to it instead of keeping focused on writing as a way to express my voice. I don't want to look stupid. The thing is, I know I have some good things to say, some important insights to share...I mean if those bizar

re right wing guys can go on and on and on, surely I put my truth out there...it's not nearly as stupid as most of the stuff folks hear. In fact, it might even be helpful. Who knows? But I do know that I would like to be better at sharing my thoughts and telling my stories than I have been. Maybe the only way to do that is to sit down and write and risk looking idiotic every time I hit the "publish" button. Or maybe it will be like therapy, only cheaper. I don't want to dump my crap into the world, I don't want to say things I'll regret or throw anyone under the bus and at the same time, I think I do need to "teach my mouth to say what's in my heart." This saying from one of the desert fathers was my 'thought' for the week when I was in Santa Fe with a group of American Baptist women pastors. How to put this into practice with both boldness and grace seems to be a continuing issue in my life.